conspicuous

Jun
10th

Thu

Listening to Fournier’s flowing, dignified cello, Hoshino was drawn back to his childhood. He used to go to the river every day to catch fish. Nothing to worry about back then, he reminisced. Just live each day as it came. As long as I was alive, I was something. That was just how it was. But somewhere alone the line it all changed. Living turned me into nothing. Weird…People are born in order to live, right? But the longer I’ve lived, the more I’ve lost what’s inside me - and ended up empty. And I bet the longer I live, the emptier, the more worthless, I’ll become. Something’s wrong with this picture. Life isn’t supposed to turn out like this! Isn’t it possible to shift direction, to change where I’m headed?

— Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

May
7th

Fri

eternal adolescence

Apr
28th

Wed

eating potatoes is so comforting

Apr
26th

Mon

this is eerily appropriate at the moment

Apr
19th

Mon

sleep and his half-brother death

hypnos and thanatos in an incestuous, queer tableau.

i’ve been taking a vitamin b complex before i go to sleep, and i get incredibly vivid dreams that i can remember and then ponder the next day. it’s lovely and scary to be so in touch with the unconscious, and i’m realizing and hating things about my life. i like the idea that dreams and death are related in greek mythology.

Apr
16th

Fri

i love you

Apr
14th

Wed

sometimes in my unnoticed, private living i just want to expand my existence to cover every living being on the planet to make me feel like i or we or our entire collective existence means something. this, i think, may be a version of what it feels like to want to be famous.

other times i think about gravity, light, and black holes, and i find everything utterly pointless.

Apr
13th

Tue

swagger

Apr
3rd

Sat